i can't fly

Like Lazarus I have returned.

As I indicated in this post I had lost my blogging mojo.  A short break and time to reflect has helped me to see that there is enough reason to continue and most of those reasons are to do with how KATcapers records the 'me' that my girls will appreciate having insight into in the years to come.

That being said I have a slight handicap when it comes to blogging in the short term....I had a bit of a fall the other day (that may be an understatement).

I fell down our new front steps...see below image for the scene of the 'incident'

Somehow (I'm at a loss to explain how), I stepped out of the gate at the top of the stairs, closed it, went to turn and walk down the stairs and fell. 

There's 10 travertine stone steps.  I did a rather bad impersonation of a bird (more like a flightless duck) flying down about 7 of them.  Somewhere at the bottom various parts of my anatomy made contact.

The bruising and gash on my left shin suggests it hit about step four, my thigh got up close and personal with step three and my left arm did an admirable job of protecting my head, making contact at step one before I bounced down onto the concrete paving at the bottom of the stairs.

My screams of agony drew the attention of my lovely neighbor who stayed with me whilst an ambulance was called.  There was copious amounts of screaming and at this point the impersonation was more a dead ant - rolling around on my back clutching my leg with my good arm and holding my left arm protectively up near my boob (when people tell you that you KNOW when you've broken your arm...they're spot on!).

43 years and this was my first trip in an ambulance that didn't involve a child.  That green pipe thing is GOOD stuff!

A few hours of agony ensued masked by copious amounts of laughing gas and a few jabs of morphine (at least I think that's what it was).  X-Ray confirmed a broken arm (just below the elbow).

By 7pm I was being collected by Saint Mike and the wide-eyed KATs who were quite unsure what to make of mummy in an emergency bay bed.

I've been greedily consuming panadeine forte for the pain and haven't made it out of bed for any length of time as falling down a flight of steps creates pain and tenderness in pretty much every bone in my body!

The bruises are emerging and are a technicolour testament to the fact that I can't fly!!!

oldest KAT thought it would be amusing to show you this shot:)  I'm not sure what's worse - my facial expression, my enormous boob or Sally in her favourite position perched on my chest!

It could have been much worse.  I'm lucky I was acing forwards!!  This also means that I had a nano-second to see the bottom of the stairs approaching knowing it was going to hurt BADLY!!!

My bed rest will hopefully give me time to post some more, although hen and pecking with my non-favoured right hand is not very efficient....

Anyway, I'm glad to be back, to appreciate my forum for sharing the me that I don't always appreciate as much as I should and for knowing that my posts are appreciated (including by the non-commenting relatives that read!!)

July so far

A week is a long time in the house of KATcapers.

This time last week I was mourning my dad and anguishing over the fact that he's been gone from us for five years.

This anniversary also fell quite messily in the midst of a crazy time at work and the craziness that is school holidays. 

Today, a post in pictures of the first week of July...

My orange letterbox was installed by my ever-patient husband.  It now matches our orange front door.

Youngest KAT and I made a boat from an egg carton...I'm rather chuffed with this craft effort!

You can find the inspiration here

I finally got my wallpaper up....loving it!

Wallpaper feature wall with laundry in background - loving my sunny yellow tiles.  Wallpaper was put up Sunday arvo whilst Saint Mike had a nap...thank you Youtube for the 'how-to' video!!!

Youngest KAT broke out her inner roar!

All this in my down time having had the most frantic few weeks at work...evidenced by my bin...my diet coke intake has been frightening!!!

Over and out from me.  Nothing else to see here.

Time Stands Still

Five years on.

Youngest KAT will reach that milestone having never met her grandpa.  She is now older than Middle KAT was in this photo with grandpa.

Oldest KAT is now a young women.  Grandpa only knew her barely out of her toddler years.

We've all aged.  Dad hasn't.  In my mind he is exactly as I last saw him.  Grey but not old.  His blue eyes as bright and his moustache as ticklish as always.

His anniversary sneaks up on me.  I think I'm fine and then I fall in a heap.

The tears are constant and salty.  The pain is physical, my throat is raw and my heart is so heavy.

Today I contemplated not wanting to see another one of these anniversaries approach.  It is harder every year when my mind thinks of all he's missed and all we've missed too.  I'm not a better person for this pain.

If it's possible I feel more vulnerable and permeable.  Why does grief sting so?  What purpose does it serve to continually return to this point. 

Twelve months of trying to live in the moment only to be back here again...back in that moment.  That moment when my world became a place where I did not want to be without him.

I have so much, but at the moment it's him I want.  Just to have him to talk to, to hug, to tell him how much I love him.

Then there's my mum.  How hard this is for her.  It breaks my heart.

These photos wouldn't meet the 'standard' that blogs should supposedly strive for.  But they capture a moment in time that I would give anything to repeat.  My parents, together....with me and with my family sharing the moment.

Those moments you don't realise are precious at the time.  Irreplaceable.

I love you dad.  I miss you.

Sodden and Stir Crazy

Long Weekends = perfect for crafty crowns and torturing the puppy

It's 5pm on Monday at the end of the long weekend. 

In our case it's the 4th day of the long weekend because the KATs had a pupil free day on Friday.........so our 'enjoyment' has been only enhanced by that one extra day of togetherness.

Can you detect my actual level of 'joy' from the tone of this post?

I love my KATs but by golly if it wasn't so bloody wet outside I'd be turfing them to the curb!  Clearly God hasn't grasped the concept that wet weather and long weekends should be mutually exclusive...especially where children and parents are concerned!!!!

We've got about 3hrs before they'll all be tucked up intact in their beds...so for evidentiary purposes here's some photographic evidence that I have attempted to be productive this weekend.

Yes, copious amounts of ice cream and chocolate sauce have been consumed but I deserve it goddamit!!!!

Yes the puzzle is upside down but it's still a puzzle which I get points for!!

Wet weather = good time to organize the dustables

More dustables and a home for my wallpaper collection!

Gumboots were well worn and look so lovely outside the new front door!!!

Truly a family of tossers in our Hunter boots (mine are adjustable for my chubby calves)

Time for a Home B fix but only after making the chocky self-saucing pud

Too wet to put the recycleables out in their bins!!!!

Given that it's only my family and friends who read my blog - hope you all had a good weekend:)

Saint Mike is in Ohio visiting his sister....her husband is due for a bone marrow transplant on Tuesday so right now is having his immune system killed off (literally) by Chemo...we are praying for him!  He's been trying to take her mind off their ordeal by plying her with wine and entertaining her twins...he's heading back to Toronto tomorrow to spend the remainder of the week visiting his mum in hospital.

I've been thinking of stopping my blog as most days it feels like I'm blogging to nowhere....the only reason I haven't stopped is that it's illuminating for our distant families as to what the KATs get up to and what's going on in my complex mind:)

Bummer, ending on a downer...thoughts of my sick brother-in-law and my ailing mother-in-law have invaded my mind...time to put the chocky pudding in the oven!!!

Arrivaderci

Weighing Heavily

Blogging has taken a back seat over the last few weeks due to an inordinate amount of stress that has descended upon the house of KATcapers for various reasons which I won't bore you with.

Today is a short post to pay homage to a wonderful woman who is currently really unwell, lying in a hospital bed a very long way away in Canada and therefore out of reach of any sort of physical contact which we would dearly love to extend.

This lovely lady is my mother-in-law.  She was taken to hospital with pneumonia and has given us all a very bad scare.  Unfortunately even though her immediate prognosis is good now that the IV has been boosting her system with much needed drugs and sustenance, she is never again going to be the same women I have come to know as she is struggling with advancing Parkinson's.

In her wisdom she decided to not tell her son (Saint Mike) that she had been diagnosed.  Despite us suspecting that something wasn't quite right, she soldiered on far away avoiding Skype as much as she could. 

As the disease progressed, she has become noticeably frailer and shakier. 

Each time she visited us over the last few years we had seen age advancing and felt waves of guilt that she had to travel halfway round the world to see her son and grandchildren.

The last few days have been very distressing.  To know that the woman I have come to know for the past 17 years is now so disabled that she cannot feed, clothe, bathe or assist herself (and the pneumonia wasn't the start of this) is very sad. 

I can honestly say she has never had a bad word to say to me.  She has never been anything other than supportive and caring.  She has only shown anger in my midst ONCE and that was the evening we told her we were moving back to Australia (after spending almost 2 years in Canada trying to adjust to my homesickness).  She was like any mother - devastated at the thought of her son moving so far away. 

Did she hold it against me?  NO!  She has visited us countless times and never demanded anything of me.  She is the most unassuming, kind-hearted and gentle lady you could meet.  Her son adores her, her grandchildren have only fond memories of her visits and her daughter-in-law couldn't ask for a lovelier Monster-in-law!

I wish I could give her a big hug.  Instead, we've sent flowers and the girls are doing cards.  Saint Mike is allowing me to be irresponsible and insist that he gets on a plane to Canada asap....time is of the essence and getting home to be there for his mum in her hour of need is what he will want to remember...not waiting until she's even more debilitated or possibly no longer able to talk to him at all.

Ageing sucks.  Enough said. 

Grateful for my very own Mr Miyagi

Sssshhhh!  There's a master at work.

He's a very small, very intense man of Korean origins (so my Japanese Mr Miyagi joke is quite politically inappropriate!!!)

He's our tiler.

He's putting KATcapers out of our 4 weeks (yes that's right) without a bathroom misery.

Am I GRATEFUL for our little Korean wizard?  You betcha!  If he wasn't quite so humourless I'd be lavishing kisses all over his wizened little head!!!

Our bathroom is the ONE and ONLY bathroom in our house.  Being without it has been a chore (is that the biggest understatement in the history of the world...or at the very least KATcapers?)

I'm not blaming anyone, it's pointless pointing fingers (or knives, scissors, nail files or any other sharp implement I get my hands on).

It's been better just to smile in the style of the Virgin Mary (or slightly less religious smily people) and retain some dignity whilst I do my ablutions in the laundry tub whilst the United Nations of tradespeople traipse past me every day!

My ass has been dragging itself out of bed even earlier than is usual (for my walks) so I could get my gear and run out the door (I'm pretty excited about the prospect of running water on my head and not my hands) as I drive over the 'bridge' to the gym and after getting my walk in cherish the five minutes or so I can manage under the shower before dashing off to work.

Ah the joys of renovating:)

Grateful Saturday you have never been blessed with such a heartfelt utterance!!!!

Retrolicious

So my wallpaper arrived.

It's better in 'real life' than it was on Etsy and I was pretty excited about it there!!

Along with the one I posted about here, I also took possession of a few other metres of wallpaper that are equally delightful....

This coral toned one is the same design as the one I'm using in the hallway outside the bathroom....love the colours!

This is a gorgeous vintage paper that has flown all the way from France

Another US retro wallpaper

As you can tell, I've gone slightly MAD for retro wallpaper!!!  I think you can blame our stay in January at Lark House in Daylesford (first image is from one of the bedrooms in the house).  This beauty has just been sold so you can no longer luxuriate in it for a couple of random nights if the thought of this took your fancy.  I can only hope the new owners love the decor as much as I do and don't rip down all the quirky wallpaper decoration!!!!!

This is only the beginning of my wallpaper addiction - I have a plan to use retro wallpaper to cover some rather dire mirrored wardrobe doors that we are blessed with...cheaper than replacing them (that's my story anyway).  I will be doing a combo effect but need to be very careful in curating my selection so that it all 'hangs' together (ha love that pun!!!!)

Don't despair - the coral wallpaper is NOT going to be combined with the blues/greens...I just couldn't leave it on Etsy:)

Lark House image from here