Sunday, October 6, 2013

Boldly bald

Sounds obvious doesn't it? It is a no brainer that people stare at a bald person. I think it's human nature and I was prepared for it.

I've always suffered from the "what are people thinking" disease. It's kept my imposter syndrome and inferiority complex company back there in the musty recesses of my self conscious.  Courtesy of many years of employing cognitive behaviour therapy to counter these snarling beasts of my mind I have learnt that it is more helpful to challenge those inner voices. I have  found that countering them with alternatives works. The conversation goes along the lines of:

"Its All About Me" inner voice: "Oh shit. Starer alert! They're probably thinking I'm so up myself. Why doesn't she cover her bald head up. Why did I think it was okay to go around the shopping centre bald?"

"Get over yourself you nutter" inner voice: "Pleeeeeeeeaaaaaase! It's a bald head. Of course there'll be a few double takes. For all you know they have a thing for bald women or they're wondering if you're making a fashion statement".

All jokes aside I did go out rocking a headscarf for the first couple of outings. I found a YouTube clip where a woman shows a great way of reusing old TShirts as head wraps (you cut them off under the armpits and wrap it around your head creating a great base for adding scarves etc. I liked it. I did it with a white one and a grey one. Thing is though it's a tad hot at the moment and I'm finding that my head (both physically and psychologically) prefers to be unencumbered.

The analogy I used with Oldest KAT when I decided midway through the week to stalk the shopping centre boldly bald was that I'm the type of person that when confronted with the cold pool would prefer to jump in the deep end and immerse myself fully rather than dither around sitting on the edge, dipping my toe in ever so gingerly. Much better to feel that momentary clench of coldness grip me and then have it over and done with that inch my way in gritting my teeth.

It was confronting entering the shopping centre with my vulnerability on full display. It did require me to do some kick-arse on-the-go CBT to banish the voices that urged me to run for cover (literally). It wasn't only the eyes of nameless onlookers. The eyes of the KATs were also absorbing both people's reactions to me and my response....would I fold like a cheap hammock?

Pleasingly I found it liberating to be boldly bald. I have had compliments which are lovely, my doctor also suggested I had better have my Gaydar on high alert as I'm likely to attract attention. Who knew that Lesbians like bald? Feel free to educate me on this so I can educate my doctor.

Accessories are in my DNA. Being a cancer-suffering wallflower was never on the agenda so out have come the scarves, hats and earrings.
There are definitely downsides to baldness which I will elaborate on in my next post but for now let's stick with the way it is already challenging my personal paradigm. I finished this weekend with a relaxing afternoon at the local pool where I walked around with my sun screened noggin glinting in the sun when I was making my way to the pool. I ignored the stares and just enjoyed the glorious sun and the equally glorious water that was so healing for my soul one week post-chemo when I've hit the wall and feel like I can't take anymore headaches and nausea.

What strangers think of me is the least of my issues.


  1. You, my gorgeous lady are inspiring me more and more with every post.

  2. I keep thinking of all the other women you're passing who have maybe just been diagnosed or are wearing a wig. You must be an inspiration to them. I also think it gives people a 'heads up', if you look a bit teary they know you have a good reason.

    Other than the risk of skin cancer I'd say go bald whenever the mood takes you, but wear bright colors not combat trousers or you're asking for female attention!! Having a boyish figure I always had to fight off the gay men in denial rather than women!

  3. I enjoyed the humour in the light of your difficult circumstances. The girls talk in this recent exchange was also educational for this mere male whose radar begins with the letter R. I might download either Radar Love or Girls Talk from iTunes in celebration of your conversation! Best wishes, Chris


I looooooove comments....thank you for taking the time :)

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

The Old Blog Header

The Old Blog Header
Just Because I like it!