Scale Anxiety

Friday is my weigh in day.

Weigh-in day causes me to be extremely anxious. 

Tomorrow is weigh-in day...ergo I have butterflies in my tummy and there's another 24hours to go!!!!

I am trying to challenge my thinking, reminding self that I've done EVERYTHING I've been asked to do.  I eat what I've been told to eat and have put it into the calculator on the Biggest Loser website (which I am still a subscriber to) and I KNOW I'm eating less than (but close to) 1000 calories per day! 

Did I hear you gasp??  I told you it was a Siberian diet!!!!

I am exercising like an Amazon...90 min walking 6 days a week, plus 15min of 'hard cardio' which for me has been running on the treadmill (with breaks to catch my breath) and seeing Mark, my trainer 3 times this week.

Logic tells me that I should have lost weight.

Problem is that my body scoffs heartily at 'logic'....it can be annoyingly unco-operative and may just decide to gain weight instead (or even worse not change at all from last week!!!!!)

Tomorrow will signal the end of Week 6 of the challenge. 

I had lost 10.2kgs as of last Friday (end of Week 5 for those of you not paying attention)

Am I happy with that result for 5 weeks worth of effort??  YES!  Ecstatic!!

Does it mean that I'm not driving myself even harder to keep on losing for these last four weeks (now only 3 weeks)?  NO!  I've turned into a machine...and a competitive one at that!!!!

I'm still on top of the leader board...my closest competition is 2kgs behind me....and I want her to stay there!  She's on my tail though and I can't slack off...

I do keep reminding myself that this should not be about winning....but I'm starting to think that it's easy to say that when you're NOT winning...but when you are, goddamit you just want to stay on top!

Anyway, further updates will be forthcoming tomorrow....wish me luck :)